She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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