just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
