Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize