that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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