do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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