Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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