Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize
