You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
