i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Two words: blizzard sex
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Randomize
