If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
