We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
