guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
How naked do you want me to be?
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