I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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