So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
