yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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