For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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