I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
