His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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