I'm lost and stupid without you.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
