My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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