I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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