Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
