No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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