Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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