Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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