You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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