dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I cut my penus on the lid.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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