I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
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I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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