i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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