D3 body, D1 cock
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
