So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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