i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
