Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
