the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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