I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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