So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
