Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
