I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize