Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize