Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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