Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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