It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
