Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Randomize
