You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
