I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Hippo gnu deer
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
