I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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