I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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