I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
