I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
