Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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