I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
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my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
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Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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