At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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