so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
