That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
