I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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