we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
