im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
