What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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