Yo dont text me then not text me
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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