If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
