I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
